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Sep. 23rd, 2008

worlds

(no subject)

...'lost' is getting on my nerves-- i've never written anything that was so difficult and frightening and infuriating. i've been walking around the city, afraid of what it's going to become, afraid that if i write everything like it was, then i'll never be able to escape the fact that it was exactly that way.
i've also stopped making sense, yes.

Jul. 31st, 2008

masks

magic over rooftops. welcome the storm.

Jul. 29th, 2008

masks

(no subject)

i apologize for not writing - words have been hiding from me, or rather, pulling me under like a rip-tide, like the surf on Fire Island. I can't discern any of them enough to write, i can't breathe for the most part, without crying. i'm still not used to being back, so for a while, all i have are pictures.

Here are: faerie sun of St. Petersburg.



Jul. 28th, 2008

me

summer

Jul. 25th, 2008

masks

(no subject)

...the Hudson Highlands are full of ruins of houses that i could've lived in. berries grow all around, dark-red, sour-sweet, untouched by rot or worms. faerie food, don't touch, don't eat. we do, of course. The river below is smoke and mirrors, we have been climbing for two and a half hours and, standing at the top of the world, realize that we don't have a lighter and all the matches are wet. stars circle above, my imagination circles the dark.

..my bike got stolen last night as i sat with O. talking about my multiplicity and the past and a thousand other things i've missed talking about with her. her husband saw a man walk off with the bike, but he didn't know it was mine :) . i hope my bike will be happy wherever it's going and that they won't take it apart for parts. i want to tell them that it's been to Toronto and back and down and up misty northern Jersey roads with my brother and that it was bought for a dream when everything was different. But may be it'll tell it to them anyway and they won't take it apart for parts.

...i'm craving forests and fires, overwhelmed by cities and roads and people. Somewhere in the darker parts of me, stories are coming to life stronger than ever before. I dream of beautiful shapeshifter girls pulled out of drowned planes. We kiss each other on roofs and on attics and swear we'll never part.

... mist and the impossible.

Jul. 18th, 2008

me

...love nothing better than the summer road.

Jun. 2nd, 2008

me

(no subject)

Thank you for all your lovely book suggestions. I am leaving soon, and once again the announcement:
if you wish to receive a postcard/letter from me as I'm traversing through Lithuania and Russia, leave your address in the comments, which are screened. Especially if I don't know you and/or don't have your address. Strangers welcome.

m.

May. 28th, 2008

me

(no subject)

i'd like for you to recommend a book for me to read.

something that is life-changing or beautiful or ridiculously happysad or hilarious or strange.
or
something about the hidden shadows of memory and the world.
or
something that you think i need to read.
or
something that you've been reading all spring, and think it fits.

i'm going on a long journey, i need new friends.

May. 23rd, 2008

dance

(no subject)

i'm done with college.
i feel strange and weightless and a little bit sick all the time now.
i met Mart yesterday, he's a week and a half old and beautiful. I do have a mother-gene.
I also have a dream-gene - tonight I wandered through some New Jersey backroads and flew in the sky with a little girl. We smoked cigarettes ( I kept telling her it's too early for her to smoke so much, and she kept telling me 'what does it matter if I have no home?') and I ended up almost getting hanged for kidnapping in an abandoned church, which looked like a palace.

now i'm trying to plow through the mess that is my apartment and come to terms with the fact that i will not be going to school in september. or in the forseeable future.

May. 17th, 2008

me

(no subject)

ever since last weekend, my dreams have been brighter and stranger. I don't want to wake up, most of the time, i've lived a few lifetimes today and visited way too many cities. i wake up exhausted.
new orleans and st. louis, a small town named Clementine, and specifically dream-places where i've spent way too long. there was a communal house there, just a hut with some windows, a fire and so many people who were amazing and whom i haven't met. and then i was a witch on the wind, flying north, and then i met a creature from the subterranean caverns of Tahiti and the people(?) who lived there.

my head is full of wind.

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