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Various things

the apartment is empty. for the first time in weeks, i'm alone, listening to my highway rushing by like the ocean, listening to the careful shadow-steps of things too overwhelmed by all the humanity around to move carelessly, like they did before.

i took out underwood from the Uninhabited Room today. It's surprising what a few months of abandonment do to a living thing like a typewriter. It's rusted in places, stuck, it won't move farther than the first letter, and a spider made a home between the keys. cat hair caught in the spiderwebs. It looks like it's been left out in the rain, not sitting in the corner of a room - but then, when a room has been abandoned as well, shouldn't everything inside it become fragile.

there are bits and pieces inside of me that feel like that, abandoned, too fragile to touch, so I tiptoe around them, past them.

it's only been a couple of months since I left Wood, but then, since i left him, i felt like years passed  - and why shouldn't time affect him just like it has affected me. I'm all he's known, my words, my touch, my fingertips pressed intimately against the ribbon, leaving traces of ink on the world.

i've been drawing strange animals all over the walls. it feels like something this place always wanted, a chance to become wild, to emerge into shapes and colors - shapes and colors dreaming under all that paint.

the world has been so thin lately, i feel like if i think about something alone just a little too long, it will rip and coalesce into something completely different.