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On November- writing

 --there's simply too much to tell. It will come out, eventually, in words and letters and possibly entries, but right now its all tangled up with itself, just like my NaNo novel. Not all of it is good at all, not at all, but I don't want to talk about that, so I will talk about writing.

Yes, I did finish my NaNo novel. I finished it exactly at 50,000 words - no tweaking, no anticipation, i just wrote the last scene, and it was the last word. i was in a 24hour cafe, waiting the night away, waiting for a bus from New York to arrive. just like most things this fall, it came easily because here i have endless time, and yet i have very little time -here-. I make no sense.

That being said, I am going to be submerged in writing even deeper in December. A. and I decided to do a NaNo-like thing between the two of us, since she had exams & couldn't do it in November. I'm also going to be feverishly writing down this fall. Because in all honesty, I am afraid the moment I leave this city, this room, my job, it will all disappear as if it had never existed - it is made of finer, warmer stuff than most of the things in my life, and of thinner stuff too. This fall has been a lifetime all condensed into three months, a lifetime. 

So the 'lost' zine is being put on hold - it hasn't felt right to write it since september, and i know it will. when i get back to the city i became entirely lost to anything and anyone, it will be easy. i don't feel anxious about it, it's waiting for me. In December I'm going to be writing another story that has been waiting for me for awhile, for a long while. we'll see what comes of it. 

I'm planning to squeeze and squeeze myself until the truth runs, all lemony and with pits and such. 


i found your journal through pyralid's friend list. it's beautiful.
do you mind if i add you as a friend?
not at all!